| since no one knows me who i am or anything of the sort. i guess i'll put my true feelings here. i hate my family. i have no true friends. i love my ex and my parents are putting a restraining order on him. i hate that no one listens to the way i feel. and i hate covering up everything. i stopped talking to my ex for my parents so that they would get over it. this morning my mom told me she hated me more so than my ex. i can't stand hearing that. then she said that God is there if i listen. i don't think he is right now. i just want to die. i want to fight every piece of this... but knowing me. i won't i'll just go along with everything and get over it. once i'm eighteen i'm done i refuse to do anything my parents want me to. including who to date. i will be with my ex. i will be married and i will have a kid with him so parents suck on that... |
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| Okay. So recently... I was having problems with my faith... and I went to a retreat with my leadership team at my church. One of the questions they asked was "Do you think being a catholic is easy in today's world?" and I was like "Heck no." But some said yes. And they were all the people that go out have sex, get high and drunk, and aren't all that deep into church. And I started thinking... Rachel Joy Scott. She died at the age of SEVENTEEN in the Columbine High School shooting. She was sitting on the grass, drawing, journaling, and eating lunch with a friend. when two boys walked up with machine guns, and one [Eric Harris, the other was Dylan Kepold] asked her " Do you believe in GOD? " Her response? "YOU KNOW, I DO " He said to her, "Go be with him then" ... So you think it's easy being catholic in today's world? Okay. The next time... someone asks you if you believe say YES, instead of nodding your head and avoiding the subject. You know I do, those were Rachel Joy Scott's last words. She was truly a saint. She is a martyr. Her one goal in life was to touch the lives of millions. She didn't do that until she died. She was shot in her head, arm, leg, and chest. The shot to her head was after the questions were asked, the one that ended her life. She was an ordinary girl. She thought her days were numbered... she knew she would die young. She drew a picture. of a flower... with an eye that was crying 13 tears. 12 students and 1 teacher died that day at Columbine 13 total. a tear for each. It upsets me that people I know would have said i don't believe, say it's easy being catholic in this world. It's NOT. Rachel was also the first to die that day. [April 20,1999]. Rachel had a challenge. 1. Look for the BEST in others. 2. Choose positive influences. 3. Write goals. She once said: "I have this theory that if ONE person will go out of their way to show compassion, this WILL start a chain reaction of the same." I agree. But the next time someone asks you " Do you believe?" What will you say? I will say, " Of course" Rachel died for a cause. A cause that isn't always understood. Some think that Eric and Dylan were killing mainly Christians, another student Cassie Bernall had given them the same answer as Rachel. I challenge you to take Rachel's challenge. I accept it. Will you? -Elphaba   
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| my perfect guy. and religion.
I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too! |
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| heyo. so bryce and i are good. sam apologized i'm famous at the other school... and to top it all off. parents are just stupid... grandpa in hospital... hating everything... bestie overdosed on sunday... been at hospitals everyday since like last monday... just shot me. kay? thanks. -elphaba |
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| mkay. sooo my boyfriend, bryce sweetie and wonderful to me... but then i apologized to my ex... and he was just a plan out arse about everything... i'll put our convo at the bottom... then my other ex chad... is talking about me at another school saying about how he's over everything with me... and what not... but i was like if he's over me then why's he talking about me? and why's he going around at his school saying all this stuff? can i get an opinion? why can't guys just fess up to things? why are the perfect ones... always the ones we want but then the ones we want more come back... idk. here's our conversation... me: sam... i didn't mean what i said... just thought you should know that even though i know we won't make up this time...
him: You wonder why i get pissed off.
me: no... i know why... but i heard something and i got jealous... and that's why i said it.
him: People hear shit all the time. You spit in my face
me: yeah... well, i get jealous easily... and when i hear you make out with another girl... it pissed me off.
him:Hahaha. Thats funny. Who was it this time? Ashley? [true] Natalie? [true] Sam? [false] Jackie? [false] Candace? [true] I got a rumour list going.
me: jessica posey.
him: Oh yeah. Her too.
me: truth... did you? i don't think you know how much i fucking care sam... that's why i get easily hurt by you...
him: You can calm down. Yeah i did. elph we werent dating.
me: i know we weren't sam... but still it hurts me... you think i view sex as no big deal don't you?
him:If youre gonna talk about it like you did to me yes
me:well i don't. sex is actually something important to me. and i wanted to with you. and sadly i still do. he didn't answer... so screw him... right? -elphaba |
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